Lost in Lost

     Recently I decided I wanted to watch lost and see what all the hype was about. I must have set some sort of record because I watched all 3 seasons in a week. A lot of people have asked why and I just say that it was addicting. TV shows are a lot different when you don’t have to wait week to week for new episodes. For anyone who hasn’t tried to watch a TV show in this matter I recommend trying it. (Especially for someone who gave up movies for lent which would technically not count as a movie)

      After seeing 3 seasons and a couple of episodes from the fourth I understand a couple of things. I realize that it is a new beginning for the main characters that previously had screwed up lives and now are able to recreate themselves in a positive way. I realize the original group that settled on the island was named dharma which in some religions is seen as the correct of nature or the way things are. Which is what we are led to believe the previous group was trying to gain a great understanding of. It is a stretch but I can also see that the group is not supposed to leave and even though they foreshadow 6 people leaving I don’t think it will happen. I think that whole story line is there to show us what these people would be without the island and that each of their lives depends on them being on the island.

       As much as I understand some concepts lost has made itself a hit giving you as little information as possible. This means I don’t understand for more than I do understand. I don’t understand where Jacob fits into all of it more because there hasn’t been a lot done to develop him as a character. I also don’t get the time difference thing between the island and the rest of the world. I also don’t get the mechanical cloud of black smoke which kills everyone. There are really too many things to mention in this category. You would figure after 3 seasons we would have some type of insight in to why they crashed where they were or what is the reason for it but we are left with nothing.

         Watching 3 seasons of lost in a week does have it side effects. To start you are mostly guaranteed to have dreams about being stranded on an island and being chased by wild bores. You also go through this withdraw period in where this is no more lost and you don’t know what to do because you are now stuck waiting for a week for a new episode.

       All of this makes me think of how I would react in there situation. If I were stranded on an island how would I recreate myself? Would I be able to rise to the occasion and become a leader like jack or would I be a stupid extra who doesn’t really do much and just fades into the background. I feel like I would want to be important and fell like I contribute. I think about this mainly because I wish that is something I could experience in my real life. I mean I am happy with my relationship with Ashley and my group of friends but there are many things I wish I could change in the blink of an eye. However, there are many life decisions I would change if I had the chance. I really wish I would have gone to school earlier and would have had more of an idea of what I want to do. I’m happy with my job that I have now but I want so much more for myself and saw myself as being more than I am now. It is hard coming from a family like mine and not feeling like you are constantly being compared to everyone else in the family all of which do great things. It is hard to feel good about yourself when you are constantly compared to the lead engineer over iphone, a government software designer, a fraud investigator with the FBI, and published writer. I really wish in my mind I could crash on an island away from that so I could be happy with what I have accomplished and feel like it is good. Instead of being in a place where I feel like it does not matter what I do because it is never going to be as great as the rest of my family.

                 So I guess to end this entry I will simply state that I am not only lost in lost but I am also lost in myself. I am lost in not only trying to figure out this show but lost trying to figure out how to feel like I have accomplished anything. I guess I need to try and separate myself and my family in some ways so I can be OK with who I am and who I am becoming and not try to compare myself to my family. I do have to say that when I started this entry I just meant for it to be about the show but I guess it is what it is now. It is hard for me to be open with any of my feelings but I hope as I try to put myself on my own island of recreation that is something I get better at.

1 year at work

I figured it was time to blog about the place that I work seeing that as of Feb. 5th I will have been there one year. I know one year at a job is not a huge accomplishment but it is a marker for me. In all of the jobs that I have had I have never reached this mark. I would be at a place for 6-8 months then I would go some where else. I guess this one year mark is a sigh that I am growing up and becoming a little more mature. However, it is very hard to feel grown up and mature in the place that I work. Yes, I do have a nice job and am involved in a lot of things but I feel like some of the people I work with still look at me like a little kid. I have many reasons for this but here are just a few. 1.) It is weird to work at a place where one of your co-workers has been at your baby shower 2.)It is hard to get taken seriously by people when I grew up playing with there kids. 3.) It is embarrassing for me to work with someone who has changed my diaper. That is just the tip of the iceberg. I mean I work with my mom and she is a talker so all of the little embarrassing stories you share at family reunions she has told to a lot of my co workers. Either way I love the place that I work even if all of my co workers know that until I was 6 I could say the name Doug so I call my uncle Doug uncle duck.